Most of my blogs will be about various aspects of being a good person. But who the hell am I to tell you how to be a good person? Well, I’m setting my humbleness aside, for now. Here we go.
Recognizing Your Faults
The first thing you need to do before thinking about changing anything is figuring out what you need to change. This could be a variety of things. Do you find yourself walking around angry all the time? Are you messy? Do you get told to lighten up a lot? Are you continually eating shit food that's terrible for you?
Everyone has faults, and you're no different. As loathe as I am to admit it, even I have flaws. You need to decide what is holding you back most, as tackling them one at a time, or focus, is vital to success. I'll use me as an example.
I have a few faults. Yes, it's true. I eat like a maniac. Sure, I have a great metabolism, and I workout a lot, but that doesn't mean I should eat pizza, cake, donuts, and really whatever the hell else is in front of my face. It's unhealthy.
But think about a couple of faults. Dig deep. What is making you sad or causing you the most stress in life? Think about what you want, and what is in the way of what you want.
I want to be a writer. I want to write blogs, books, and short stories. BUT, I also have somewhat poor discipline and time management skills. My eating habits aren't preventing me from writing, but playing video games after work, getting up later, and letting my sleepiness get the better of me is preventing my writing.
So, I'll try to fix that before fixing my eating habits because that's more important to me. But how do I fix it?
Creating a Plan of Action
Just do it.
Oh, that didn’t work? Shit. Fine. We need a plan.
For my problem, the solution could be creating a schedule. I work at six am every single day and get extremely tired afterward. I tried writing after work but couldn't concentrate. The only way to write was to get up earlier. I had to find a time where I wasn't exhausted. That meant, to get done what I needed to get done, I had to get up at 3:30 am every day.
Harsh. And it was. And it still is. It's about making you fix a habit. The first week is the hardest, but it becomes so much easier if you can get past that.
I've been waking up at 3:30 for awhile now, and it was the best decision I have ever made in my entire life. I wrote a book and started on my dreams because of it. Now it feels weird NOT to get up that early. Now I’m considering getting up at 2:30. Maybe later…
It's easy to make a plan. The hard part is follow-through. You need to keep your purpose in mind—the reason you're doing it. Do you need to lose weight? Why? Be honest. I mean it.
You need to lose weight so that it's easier to get laid? Fine. You have a health concern? Fine. You want to be attracted to yourself like I am with me? Great. There's a fantastic quote for this occasion: "When your why is big enough, you can stand any how." -Les Brown. Be unreasonable.
Sticking to Your Plan
This is the hard part right here, guys. I’m at the point where my depression kicks in if I miss even a day where I don’t get up at 3:30. I’m about to confess my dream. To strangers. My friends don’t even know(for real).
I want to be a well-known writer.
Wow, that was tough, but it's true! Unrealistic as it might be, I believe I'll do it. It's not enough to believe it, though. You need to NEED it. Crave it. I'm working crazy hours at a job I barely like, but I really want to stay home with my animals and write all day. I want to be relaxed, serene, and set my own schedule. Have access to my coffee maker…
I NEED that. Every day I go to my job, I realize how badly I need it. Why do you need your goal? Why do you need success in what you're searching for? Motivation is not enough. Motivation fades. Your basic needs never fade.
When I put in the hours and work on my writing, I'm not thinking about the fans, money, or passion for writing. I'm thinking about my dog and how sad I imagine her being when I'm not home. I think about how much happier she'd be if I were home all day.
I think about how much happier I would be.
Create a habit. You might falter; in fact, you will. I guarantee it. But that doesn't mean it won't work. Just try until you stick to it. You're good enough. You can raise your standard, learn, act, and enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Check-in on yourself. Are you doing it? Turn off your music, stop the youtube video in the background for just a second. Think about yourself. You know what you need to do to accomplish your dream. To be a good person. What if you started doing that thing just two years ago? You'd be in a totally different place, skill-wise.
Does that make you sad? Good. That's regret, and it's my biggest fear in life. Regret does not kill, it does not maim, but it's the salt on the wound of your inevitable death.
Don’t. Feel. That. Again. Start now, and in two years you will be in a different place. In two years you can be better. Think of all the things you can learn in two years with nearly daily practice.
You could learn guitar, fundamental computer science, drawing, writing, geometry, etc. And yes, I said nearly daily practice. It takes work. No, stop making excuses. You DO have the time. You make time for what is important to you, and you should be most important to you.
Of course, I want to play video games all day. I love them, they make me happy, but they don't make me fulfilled. Would I rather play video games now or live my dream later? Every morning I write, I feel the type of happiness games could never fill.
The hardest part is starting. Don't feel like reading, even if you know you enjoy it? Pick up the book and force it; you'll most likely enjoy yourself almost immediately. The start-up inertia can be strong. It takes activation energy. Keep your reason - your need - in mind.
Practicing discipline and being a good person is hard. It's not a one-and-done action and certainly won't happen in a week or a month. I went weeks trying, and failing, to get up at 3:30. But once I did so successfully for a week straight, it became easy. The rest falls into place, trust me.
It's okay to fail sometimes. It's okay to lose your temper, to eat that baked good. Some days you're sad and can do nothing about it. As long as you hope for the next day, it will work out.
You’re way stronger than you give yourself credit for. No, stop looking at your muscles, that’s not what I mean. I mean you have a force within you. If only you could tap into it. A wealth a potential, only a reason away from being unleashed.
You have power. The world could use more good people. Be the good person that the world needs, and remember: If you get .01% better every single day, that’s about 7% in two years. 7% is a huge difference.